http://outlawstoughcrowd.niceboards.net/index.htmhttp://outlawstoughcrowd.niceboards.net/index.htm

HomeHome  FAQFAQ  SearchSearch  RegisterRegister  Log in  

Share | 
 

 H-Town's Down Town Battle Ground Presents:

View previous topic View next topic Go down 
Go to page : 1, 2  Next
AuthorMessage
...



Posts : 1137
Join date : 2008-11-15

PostSubject: H-Town's Down Town Battle Ground Presents:   Tue Nov 24, 2009 8:02 am

PatDaddy77
Posted: Wed Aug 23, 2006 2:54 pm

The Roast of Redbob86.


Bob, ASSume the position.
Back to top Go down
...



Posts : 1137
Join date : 2008-11-15

PostSubject: Re: H-Town's Down Town Battle Ground Presents:   Tue Nov 24, 2009 8:02 am

fustyruk
Posted: Wed Aug 23, 2006 5:23 pm

Redbob is always in the position. This has presented Redbob with many challenges in his life. He is always walking into door jams and tables tops. His inabilty to un-assume the postion has made driving a car almost impossible, yet he always manages to deep throat the shifter... anything with a knob is fair game for Redbob. When he was young his father beat a flat spot on top his head with a hammer for obvious reasons and his brothers never fail to use his ass as an ashtray. They say they can not only have a joint rolled on his head with no spillage while balancing a bong on his ass but he also can gobble everyones knob without blinking.

Redbob is an angry young man. This is due to a tramatic experience when he was three when his dog refuses to let Red lick it's dick. Red has been licking every dick within reach in an effort to regain his youthfull desire to be the best cocksucker who ever lived. Everyone now agrees that Red is without a shadow of a doubt a cocksucker. How great he is depends on how many dicks he has in his mouth at once and how far the vacuum cleaner is stuck up his ass. Some may wonder how Redbob can stick the whole canister in his ass and suck dick at the same time. The answer lies in the fact that his brain was removed to accommodate the vacuum cleaner.

He is now in school learning politics, which being such an accomplished cocksucker, will no doubt be a plus. He wants to be Karl Roves personal assistant, with emphisis on Karls ass of course, but will settle for a postion directly in front of Hillary. He says her dick tastes just like Jesse Jacksons, Michael Jacksons and all the males in Jackson Misssissippi.

Best wishes to the cocksucker. May his tongue never waver at the task in hand... or in his ass... or in the back ally that Red hangs out in.
Back to top Go down
...



Posts : 1137
Join date : 2008-11-15

PostSubject: Re: H-Town's Down Town Battle Ground Presents:   Tue Nov 24, 2009 8:03 am

PatDaddy77
Posted: Wed Aug 23, 2006 7:38 pm

Laughing Laughing Laughing
Back to top Go down
...



Posts : 1137
Join date : 2008-11-15

PostSubject: Re: H-Town's Down Town Battle Ground Presents:   Tue Nov 24, 2009 8:04 am

PatDaddy77
Posted: Wed Aug 23, 2006 8:18 pm

Redbobby redbobby red slobby on mcknobby. Well, what can we say about this self gratifying fuck. Well there's the usual "I fucked yer mom, yer dad, yer sister and your dog", yada yada yada. Now that we've gotten that out of the way, I just wanna say that Bobbo is the goods. The Force is definitely strong with this one. You can smell smell it up wind 3 fucking blocks over. He has this dead fucking midget he carries around on his back that he put Spock ears on and spray painted green. Kinda looks like Lou Feragno took a shit. Anyway, he carries this dead fucking midget strapped to his back like a maggot infested fanny pack while he runs around with a busted flash light telling people he's the chosen one. Naturally his political science teacher objected when Bob soiled his ungraded term papers in an attempt to declare dominance, all the while shoving that busted flashlight in his throat screaming "DON'T MAKE ME USE THIS!"

"FLY, YODA, FLY!" he yelled, throwing this dead green midget in the air toward the approaching security guards. "Yoda" missed them entirely, hitting the floor like a rancid sack of potatoes. Scattered like one too. Bob then yelled "I AM DARTH SYPHLIS! BOW BEFORE ME!" And again with the busted flash light.

One of the guards then declared they had a live one and tackled Bob to the ground. They dragged Bob out kicking and screaming, and trying to hump dead midget yoda's remains on the way out. So, needless to say, Bob has some issues with the Force. If you ask me, I think Lord Herpes broke the force off in his ass, but that's a story for another time.

Bob used his one free phone call to call in his butt buddy TravInChains. "HAN, I NEED YOU MAN!"

"HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU, I'M NOT HAN FUCKING SOLO! I DON'T EVEN FUCKING LIKE YOU! QUIT CALLING ME! I'm hanging up now."

Bob sat there lonely without dead midget yoda, trying to use the force on the cell lock. He had the face of a toddler breaking in a new diaper. But alas nothing happened. He soiled himself and then slowly sobbed himself to sleep.













oh yeah, you knob slobbing bitch! Watch the teeth. That is all.
Back to top Go down
...



Posts : 1137
Join date : 2008-11-15

PostSubject: Re: H-Town's Down Town Battle Ground Presents:   Tue Nov 24, 2009 8:05 am

The Spleen
Posted: Wed Aug 23, 2006 9:01 pm

RedBob, RedBob what a fag.
Gets his news from a gay mag.
Star Wars freak in womens hose.
Got a cum shot in his nose.
So now we're here to give a roast.
Raise our glass and cook some toast.
RedBob, RedBob what an ass.
Wishes he was born a lass.
Now as this poems nears it's end.
I must insult RedBob agin'.

RedBob is a doodyhead.
Back to top Go down
...



Posts : 1137
Join date : 2008-11-15

PostSubject: Re: H-Town's Down Town Battle Ground Presents:   Tue Nov 24, 2009 8:05 am

fustyruk
Posted: Wed Aug 23, 2006 9:07 pm

Laughing @ PD and Spleen
Back to top Go down
...



Posts : 1137
Join date : 2008-11-15

PostSubject: Re: H-Town's Down Town Battle Ground Presents:   Tue Nov 24, 2009 8:06 am

PatDaddy77
Posted: Wed Aug 23, 2006 9:54 pm

Laughing
Back to top Go down
...



Posts : 1137
Join date : 2008-11-15

PostSubject: Re: H-Town's Down Town Battle Ground Presents:   Tue Nov 24, 2009 8:07 am

The Spleen
Posted: Thu Aug 24, 2006 1:30 am

RedBob on his way to work....










Back to top Go down
...



Posts : 1137
Join date : 2008-11-15

PostSubject: Re: H-Town's Down Town Battle Ground Presents:   Tue Nov 24, 2009 8:08 am

SushiCat
Posted: Thu Aug 24, 2006 2:29 am

The Spleen wrote:
RedBob on his way to work....










WOWEE!!! Shocked
Back to top Go down
...



Posts : 1137
Join date : 2008-11-15

PostSubject: Re: H-Town's Down Town Battle Ground Presents:   Tue Nov 24, 2009 8:09 am

Sassenach
Posted: Thu Aug 24, 2006 6:39 am

SushiCat wrote:
The Spleen wrote:
RedBob on his way to work....










WOWEE!!! Shocked

That is SICK!!! I can't stop watching it trying to see if it's fake...
Back to top Go down
...



Posts : 1137
Join date : 2008-11-15

PostSubject: Re: H-Town's Down Town Battle Ground Presents:   Tue Nov 24, 2009 8:10 am

The Spleen
Posted: Fri Aug 25, 2006 6:28 pm

How to kill RedBob......






































Slam down the toilet seat when he's getting a drink.
Back to top Go down
...



Posts : 1137
Join date : 2008-11-15

PostSubject: Re: H-Town's Down Town Battle Ground Presents:   Tue Nov 24, 2009 8:11 am

PatDaddy77
Posted: Fri Aug 25, 2006 8:21 pm

Laughing
Back to top Go down
...



Posts : 1137
Join date : 2008-11-15

PostSubject: Re: H-Town's Down Town Battle Ground Presents:   Tue Nov 24, 2009 8:11 am

HTownSteve
Posted: Sat Aug 26, 2006 1:46 am

Oh, The man(?) of the hour. I guess some of youze actually read this shit.
Nice to see Fusty took off his normal Friday night ritual of tossing the salad of homeless vagrants to participate. WTG, Fusty. That made sence. I think. Somewhere. Maybe not.

PatDaddy! Star Wars and The Hulk! Thanks for looking at the wallpaper and bed-sheets of yer bedroom for ideas! How creative! You left out Tom Cruise and Richard Simmons!

And then there's the Spleen........


(Moves on after silence)


Now to the Man(?) of the minute (according to his imaginary girlfried--even SHE complains), The Redbob.

Redbob's political affiliation changes everyday. Kinda like Vegas' choice of dresses before he goes trolling for Men.

Redbob is SO confused about his stance on right/left, that he walks/talks like a cross between Michael J Fox and Mohammed Ali.

When RB sees a homeless person, he pulls out his wallet, sucks their dick, AND brings them home for a Swanson TV dinner.

When RB sees a soldier from THIS WAR, he sucks thier dick, then spits the semen back at them.

RB is so confused about GWBush, he wants to fuck him, but he doesn't know what will happen next.

RB's stance on gay marriage is: Whatever. He's never had any.
RB's only sexual experience was when his finger poked thru the toilet paper. (He liked it)

RB is a confused induvidual. He plays video games with his mom. yet lets her win sometimes, just to enjoy the companionship.

HTown OUT!
Back to top Go down
...



Posts : 1137
Join date : 2008-11-15

PostSubject: Re: H-Town's Down Town Battle Ground Presents:   Tue Nov 24, 2009 8:12 am

narrator
Posted: Sat Aug 26, 2006 2:56 am

What a dais we have.... a fat asshole, a guy who posts the weirdest shit when drunk or on drugs, and someone with a bad heart. But enough about PatDaddy.

We're here tonight to honor a member whose account was mysteriously deleted by a technical glitch, but has not been deterred, and remains a valuable member....baseballmom, you should post here more often.

But on to Redbob now. First of all, what the hell is up with the "Red" part? Definitely not a communist. He sure as hell ain't a Native American, but most likely a wannabe. Bob is simply in denial that he's a white boy. Oh yes. He could have been a stunt double for the albino in The Princess Bride. Perhaps the red refers to his own rocket, which he launches as often as possible. Then again, living in Indiana, "red" probably refers to his face after inhaling all the carbon monoxide that's in Gary. No kidding Bob, I wouldn't announce too loudly that I come from the same area as Michael Jackson. People might not look too favorably on that. Moving on though...

Redbob: proof that bright young kids with goals and ideals still exist........and can still get taken in by whackjobs like Ann Coulter. Redbob is of a future generation of politicians who will no doubt, one day, grow up to include my name on a voting roster, whether I'm alive or not. But the nice thing is that a lobbyist can look at someone like Redbob and see a "Buy It Now" tag and hang onto him for life. Redbob, your mother must have been so proud of you when you told her you wanted to go into politics. She does ask though, that you don't kiss her with the same mouth that you make your campaign promises from.

But Redbob has been preparing for this, oh yes. He hones his skills.... on a small-time forum with his fellow losers. The difference though, is when Redbob starts debating politics, rational thought disappears quicker than a young policeman in Grandpa's county. Redbob does more lockstepping than an extra in Riverdance.

And unfortunately, it drives people away. It's sad, but what can you say about a guy whom Tila Tequila won't even call her friend? This guy drives more women away than a Star Trek convention.

Which leaves us with an alternative conclusion about Redbob, and by alternative, I mean lifestyle. See for yourself.... mention "ninja" around most guys and they think cool kung-fu, mystic martial arts, and seeming invisibility. Mention "ninja" to Redbob, and he gets excited thinking about "swordfighting," something he has no doubt longed to engage in with a fellow "ninja." Yep. Gay. Kenny G took one look at Redbob and became a homophobe.

In all seriousness though, Bob, you've been a great sport, you've got a bright future ahead of you, and I wish you all the best.
Back to top Go down
...



Posts : 1137
Join date : 2008-11-15

PostSubject: Re: H-Town's Down Town Battle Ground Presents:   Tue Nov 24, 2009 8:13 am

The Spleen
Posted: Sat Aug 26, 2006 3:27 am

Good one narrator!
PD ignore Steve, your funny and so is everyone else but Steve!


Oh yeah! RedBob!
Tell your mother to stop wearing different colored lipstick. I'm getting a damn rainbow around my dick.
If Moses had seen you, there would be another commandment.

(it sucks how idiotic Steve can be, demanding a roast then bashing anyone who does it! And then to boot writes the unfunniest shit so far.)
Back to top Go down
...



Posts : 1137
Join date : 2008-11-15

PostSubject: Re: H-Town's Down Town Battle Ground Presents:   Tue Nov 24, 2009 8:14 am

PatDaddy77
Posted: Sat Aug 26, 2006 9:10 am

see now that's just good comedy there. That's how you tie in the room. lol
Back to top Go down
...



Posts : 1137
Join date : 2008-11-15

PostSubject: Re: H-Town's Down Town Battle Ground Presents:   Tue Nov 24, 2009 8:15 am

HTownSteve
Posted: Sun Aug 27, 2006 2:07 am

The Spleen wrote:
Good one narrator!
PD ignore Steve, your funny and so is everyone else but Steve!


Oh yeah! RedBob!
Tell your mother to stop wearing different colored lipstick. I'm getting a damn rainbow around my dick.
If Moses had seen you, there would be another commandment.

(it sucks how idiotic Steve can be, demanding a roast then bashing anyone who does it! And then to boot writes the unfunniest shit so far.)

Ahhh......
SPLEEN.....

Have you ever SEEN a roast?
Let me explain how it works.....
You insult the other roasters, THEN you move on to the victim.

If you don't UNDERSTAND my jokes (they are meant for a 4th grade education), then move on. I, for one hand, AM NOT explaining them. The fucking Michael J. Fox/Mohammed Ali joke was gold, youi fucking idiot. Parkinson's is fucking funny!
Back to top Go down
...



Posts : 1137
Join date : 2008-11-15

PostSubject: Re: H-Town's Down Town Battle Ground Presents:   Tue Nov 24, 2009 8:16 am

The Spleen
Posted: Sun Aug 27, 2006 3:01 am

Rolling Eyes
Back to top Go down
...



Posts : 1137
Join date : 2008-11-15

PostSubject: Re: H-Town's Down Town Battle Ground Presents:   Tue Nov 24, 2009 8:17 am

PatDaddy77
Posted: Sun Aug 27, 2006 3:46 am

HTownSteve wrote:
The Spleen wrote:
Good one narrator!
PD ignore Steve, your funny and so is everyone else but Steve!


Oh yeah! RedBob!
Tell your mother to stop wearing different colored lipstick. I'm getting a damn rainbow around my dick.
If Moses had seen you, there would be another commandment.

(it sucks how idiotic Steve can be, demanding a roast then bashing anyone who does it! And then to boot writes the unfunniest shit so far.)

Ahhh......
SPLEEN.....

Have you ever SEEN a roast?
Let me explain how it works.....
You insult the other roasters, THEN you move on to the victim.

If you don't UNDERSTAND my jokes (they are meant for a 4th grade education), then move on. I, for one hand, AM NOT explaining them. The fucking Michael J. Fox/Mohammed Ali joke was gold, youi fucking idiot. Parkinson's is fucking funny!

funny though. I've never seen them trash the other roasters' material.
Back to top Go down
...



Posts : 1137
Join date : 2008-11-15

PostSubject: Re: H-Town's Down Town Battle Ground Presents:   Tue Nov 24, 2009 8:18 am

The Spleen
Posted: Thu Aug 31, 2006 10:48 pm

I would roast Bob over a spit.
Real human spit.
then I would smash rotten eggs all over him till we get a really strong odor.
For a salad we would have Steve toss Bob's salad!
Once Bob is ready for the oven we would need Grandpa to use his rubber mallet till Bob fit and we can close the oven door.
Crank it up to the roast setting.
And forget about him and go make more posts on the forums till the screaming stops.
When screaming stops Bob is done.
Back to top Go down
...



Posts : 1137
Join date : 2008-11-15

PostSubject: Re: H-Town's Down Town Battle Ground Presents:   Tue Nov 24, 2009 8:18 am

whammon
Posted: Fri Sep 01, 2006 12:33 am

It's an honor to have the opportunity to roast my good friend Bob. How often does one get handed such easy material? Calm down, Steve, I'm not talking about his mom.

And would you look at this dais? It's good to know that the Jerry Lewis telethon is finally yielding results. Steve, it's good to see you again. You do realize you're not supposed to eat the suppositories, right? Especially after you use them.

Pat, I'd like to thank you for the movies you sent me. I really enjoyed them, but I have one issue. What kind of fucked up bootleg system did you use? I've seen better production values in an Al Queda beheading.

Gene the Spleen is here, folks. Very nice of him to take time out of his busy schedule of waiting to die to contribute to the show. Seriously, though, you look great. You've got the body of a sixteen year old. Now please let her out of your closet.

But let's move away from the Bursting Bible Belt, and move on to our guest of honor. Bob and I have been friends ever since the first day I saw him on the posters in health class promoting birth control.

Look at you. You're a political science student? You have about as much focus as Ray Charles. You're as much of a straight shooter as Dick Cheney. About the best job in Washing ton you'll ever get will be as the sign language interpreter for Bush's press conferences. It's easy, all you do is flip off anyone who asks a question.

You're a fan of Star Wars, which is way too easy to joke about, so I won't even bother. All I'll say is that light sabres don't squirt, so it's not a good metaphor for your cock.

Bob is also an avid gamer, and has a gigantic hard-on for Halo. Ooh, a game where you shoot stuff, very impressive. The NYPD would hire you based purely on that, but as far as I'm aware, there aren't any black Halo guys. It's a fucking shooter game, for Christ's sake. You can sit on the remote and jiggle your ass and still make it to level 4. You want a hard game? Try this masterful game called "Get Laid," where you turn off the X-Box, walk down to the strip club, make sure your sister's not working, and actually stick your penis in something that moves, and makes human noises.

It's hard to imagine that Bob might have a little trouble with the ladies, huh? Fucking A, you couldn't lay a potato chip. You couldn't hook up with the phone company. Jeffrey Dahmer would make you wait for sloppy seconds. Most guys go to bars, get drunk, and there's always the one guy who you have to stop from banging the porker. "Dude, you can't fuck that. You're not seeing straight. She's ugly as hell." When Bob gets drunk it's more along the lines of, "Dude, you can't fuck that. No, seriously, you can't. It's a fire hydrant."

Finally, Bob, as you might recall, served for a time as the film critic for his school newspaper, and Roger Ebert was sweating in his boots. But then again, walking ten feet makes Roger Ebert sweat in his boots. Unfortunately, Bob's tenure didn't last that long. On one occasion, he wrote a review saying a movie was shitty. His editor asked him to elaborate, so Bob sent him his skid-marked underwear. The straw that broke the camel's back of course, was his most recent review, in which the pages were stuck together with his own ejaculate. Dude, I don't think that's what the producers of "World Trade Center" were looking for.

In all seriousness, you my nigga, you've always been my nigga, now go pick my cotton.
Back to top Go down
...



Posts : 1137
Join date : 2008-11-15

PostSubject: Re: H-Town's Down Town Battle Ground Presents:   Tue Nov 24, 2009 8:19 am

PatDaddy77
Posted: Fri Sep 01, 2006 1:42 am

Quote :
Pat, I'd like to thank you for the movies you sent me. I really enjoyed them, but I have one issue. What kind of fucked up bootleg system did you use? I've seen better production values in an Al Queda beheading.


yeah. I'd wondered why you never said anything. All but one of those were straight dvd copies. I don't know what to tell you. and the other one I burned straight from the digital satellite. Your fucking welcome.
Back to top Go down
...



Posts : 1137
Join date : 2008-11-15

PostSubject: Re: H-Town's Down Town Battle Ground Presents:   Tue Nov 24, 2009 8:20 am

The Spleen
Posted: Fri Sep 01, 2006 6:05 pm

I liked my PD DVD's
Back to top Go down
...



Posts : 1137
Join date : 2008-11-15

PostSubject: Re: H-Town's Down Town Battle Ground Presents:   Tue Nov 24, 2009 8:21 am

PatDaddy77
Posted: Fri Sep 01, 2006 7:37 pm

I assume it was just a joke, but my generosity IRL shouldn't be part of his fucking roast of Redbob. Fuck him.
Back to top Go down
...



Posts : 1137
Join date : 2008-11-15

PostSubject: Re: H-Town's Down Town Battle Ground Presents:   Tue Nov 24, 2009 8:22 am

The Spleen
Posted: Fri Sep 01, 2006 7:55 pm

PatDaddy77 wrote:
I assume it was just a joke, but my generosity IRL shouldn't be part of his fucking roast of Redbob. Fuck him.
Oh! Nobody told me it was a FUCKING ROAST!
Well that changes everything! (gets nekkid)
Now where is he? Question
Back to top Go down
Sponsored content




PostSubject: Re: H-Town's Down Town Battle Ground Presents:   

Back to top Go down
 
H-Town's Down Town Battle Ground Presents:
View previous topic View next topic Back to top 
Page 1 of 2Go to page : 1, 2  Next
 Similar topics
-
» Monday Night Mordheim Presents: Border Town Burning
» Alternative Scenarios for Border Town Burning
» Little Town At The Crossroads
» Chaos Kuraz Town
» Medieval Town - Updates

Permissions in this forum:You cannot reply to topics in this forum
The James Gang Bar & Grill Forum Index :: MEMBERS SECTION :: A Tribute to Bygone Days :: The Roast of...-
Jump to: