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 H-Town's Down Town Battle Ground Presents:

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Posts : 1137
Join date : 2008-11-15

PostSubject: Re: H-Town's Down Town Battle Ground Presents:   Tue Nov 24, 2009 8:22 am

PatDaddy77
Posted: Fri Sep 01, 2006 8:05 pm

eh, you don't want that. Damaged goods.
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Posts : 1137
Join date : 2008-11-15

PostSubject: Re: H-Town's Down Town Battle Ground Presents:   Tue Nov 24, 2009 8:23 am

HTownSteve
Posted: Sat Sep 02, 2006 12:42 am

whammon wrote:
It's an honor to have the opportunity to roast my good friend Bob. How often does one get handed such easy material?



Bob is also an avid gamer, and has a gigantic hard-on for Halo. Ooh, a game where you shoot stuff, very impressive. The NYPD would hire you based purely on that, but as far as I'm aware, there aren't any black Halo guys. It's a fucking shooter game, for Christ's sake. You can sit on the remote and jiggle your ass and still make it to level 4. You want a hard game? Try this masterful game called "Get Laid," where you turn off the X-Box, walk down to the strip club, make sure your sister's not working, and actually stick your penis in something that moves, and makes human noises.

It's hard to imagine that Bob might have a little trouble with the ladies, huh? Fucking A, you couldn't lay a potato chip. You couldn't hook up with the phone company. Jeffrey Dahmer would make you wait for sloppy seconds. Most guys go to bars, get drunk, and there's always the one guy who you have to stop from banging the porker. "Dude, you can't fuck that. You're not seeing straight. She's ugly as hell." When Bob gets drunk it's more along the lines of, "Dude, you can't fuck that. No, seriously, you can't. It's a fire hydrant."

In all seriousness, you my nigga, you've always been my nigga, now go pick my cotton.


HELL YEAH!!~!!!!!

That's THE SHIT!!!!!
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PostSubject: Re: H-Town's Down Town Battle Ground Presents:   Tue Nov 24, 2009 8:24 am

Outlaw
Posted: Sat Sep 02, 2006 4:21 am

The Spleen wrote:
laugh1 laugh1 laugh1

Holy shit! I remember when that movie first came out on video I stopped by a friend of mine's house, got stoned, and he was like "Dude, you gotta check this out!" and showed me that. Must have watched it a couple dozen times, and it never got any less funny. It still isn't. It's got me in stitches right now! But I thought he got hit a third time, like by a bus or another van, too. Oh well, still fucking hilarious!
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Posts : 1137
Join date : 2008-11-15

PostSubject: Re: H-Town's Down Town Battle Ground Presents:   Tue Nov 24, 2009 8:25 am

Redbob86
Posted: Mon Sep 04, 2006 11:06 pm

Well well well, so this is what the Bar & Grill's finest have to offer. Now I remember why we stopped doing this stupid shit. So far we've talked about shoving vaccuums up the ass, humping dead midgets, and sloppy seconds. I feel like I'm reading Trav's diary.

I see Fusty hasn't improved since our last Battle Royal. Still going with the fucking and sucking material, eh? What's the matter, ran out of big vagina jokes? He's clearly got sucking dick on his mind, probably all that pent up tension whenever he sees Rards. It's so obvious that you two want to fuck eachother. All that bickering about the news like an old married couple. You know rards is just playing hard to get. It's okay, none of us will think any different of you, we'll just call you fags from now on. (see, I can write like shit, as well).

I see PatDaddy is here tonight. Now I may not REALLY use the Force, but I can sure sense disturbances everytime he walks into a room. Between the ground shaking, the horrible smell, and the shitty metal music, I can always sense the presence of Darth Lardo from 3 blocks away.


I see Gene hasn't quite grasped the concept of your turn in the roast, and instead seems to blurt out any dumbass thing that pops into his head at any moment in time. Just short bursts of irregularity that went on too much and ultimately ended up dead. But enough about his heart.

A lot of people say H-Town Steve is a just dumb drunken piece of shit. Moving on.

Narrator, you did a fine job roasting by numbers. Just a simple step-by-step process that prevent you from actual unscripted material. Politics may be a shady business, but hey, it beats staying up all night in a moldy old radio booth taking request calls for music you just don't have. Hey, the vampire, hooker, and crackhead demographics need to be reached.

Some of you may wonder why Whammon always talks about me and sloppy seconds. Well, I am actually the one responsible for his breakup with stewiesfinger. I always had first dibs, me and thunderjack that is. Wham just sat in the corner until we were done, then he had whatever was left. Now he passive-agressively tries to get me back by making ME the one who gets sloppy seconds. Wham, I'm sorry for what I did, well actually no, I don't feel the least bit bad about it. But c'mon, it's not like I was the only one.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go home and refill Steve's momma's water dish.
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